Signposts to Purpose

My helpful formula for uncovering meaningful direction in work and life.

“What the heck am I supposed to be doing with my life?!”

How many of us, at some point in our lives (or many…), have thrown our hands to the sky, released a sigh of desperation and asked ourselves this question? And when we seek advice from family, friends, or professional counselors, how many of us have received the same answer:

“Do whatever makes you happy.”  

I remember hearing this exact line, slouched in an armchair in my college advisor’s office while desperately trying to narrow in on a declared major or two, thinking to my nineteen-year-old self: Well, how should I know? I don’t! Is that bad?  

While some of us do seem to just know from a young age what to do with our lives, for most of us, orienting on our happiness is the wrong approach. Here’s why: purpose leads to happiness, not the other way around.

Several years ago, I started seeing a pattern of unmistakable emptiness expressed among those around me as well as society at large. I became convinced that the biggest thing missing in life for so many today is Purpose – the kind of clear direction that gives our life true meaning. And I was determined to create a framework to help people (myself included) find theirs. I started playing with the concept of “Pillars of Purpose” (nice ring to it, eh?), and I spent many months pondering, interviewing friends and family, reading, jotting notes, asking questions, making lists, analyzing, and crossing things out before I narrowed down to a list of six central pillars. I realized, however, that the list I came to would more accurately be described as “signposts.” While they are foundational in certain respects, their real function is serving as directions that, when layered together, provide a useful map to Purpose.

What I mean by “Purpose”

I want to be clear: when I use the word “Purpose” I’m not necessarily suggesting the one, end-all be-all reason that we were placed on this Earth. Above, I defined Purpose as: a clear direction that gives meaning to life. I believe our Purpose is not a grand, lifelong contract, but rather something that can morph, expand, narrow, and divert throughout the chapters of our lives. Sometimes it will feel more tied to our work, our home life, our goals, or our spiritual life. Sometimes it will feel like the sum or harmony of all these things. And a little spoiler alert: it’s not all about your happiness. In fact, it’s not even all about you!   

How to use my Signposts to Purpose

So, this isn’t really a “formula” as the title of this piece suggests. We can’t exactly drop in data points (female, age 34, likes dogs, nail biter) and expect an answer to spit out (biochemical engineer!). Sorry. Instead, view this as a framework for understanding. Below, I’ve listed my Six Signposts of Purpose along with helpful questions and examples. I suggest using these almost like journaling prompts, spending time on each and doing some judgement-free, personal reflection and brainstorming. See what you uncover, what stands out, what surprises you, and where you feel pulled to explore more. And understand that it’s a lifelong practice.

In truth, this is by no means perfected. I’m still chewing on these concepts myself and hope to continue deepening my own understanding of all this throughout my life. I may even change my mind on some things. But I’m offering this up now in hope that you discover something here that sparks some insight and serves you in your life.

The Signposts to Purpose

Gifts

Understanding our gifts is maybe the simplest place to start when exploring Purpose. It’s the one most of us do naturally. We all have unique talents and expertise, either inherent or hard-earned. Remember gifts can also be the blessings or resources available to us: maybe they include things like time, health, material resources, or the people we can lean on.

Consider: What has been given to me: talents, resources, etc. What do I have going for me? What am I good at?

Values

Nothing we do matters if it goes against our values. For some insight, I offer up my Core Values Funnel outlined at the bottom of this page that I developed as a resource for my coaching clients.  

Consider: What are my principles and deeply held beliefs. What guides me?

Interests

Sometimes gifts and interests go hand-in-hand, but it’s not always the case. Either way, understanding what it is that gets us going - the things toward which our minds wanter or the places in which we find ourselves in flow - is a key component in narrowing in on our direction.

Consider: What do I like and what I am curious about? What sparks the light in me?

Pain

We’ve all heard the idea: “there is purpose in your pain.” But how many of us are really using this understanding to drive our lives to a better place? One of the bigger pain points for me in much of my life for example was feeling pulled in too many directions – dabbling, spinning my wheels, feeling constantly unsure about where I should be spending my energies and therefore feeling distinctly aimless. Today, I’ve used that pain to direct me to my current work – helping others find their own Purpose.

Consider: What hurts do I want to heal around me? What has my own pain taught?

Duty 

Opportunity abounds today to drop everything, go your own way, put your needs first and “live free,” and in many respects that’s a beautiful thing. But I think it’s a disservice to us as individuals and as a society to make duty uncool, antiquated, or even the bad guy.  Maybe you have people depending on you or roles and commitments (short-term or lifelong) you want to follow through on. This one sometimes takes a whole lot of discernment, but generally speaking, following your Purpose can and should coexist with your important responsibilities.  

Consider: What are the important responsibilities and commitments I value keeping?

Service to Others

Service seemed to fit well here in this post, but in truth, it should probably be at the top rather than at the bottom. Because in my humble opinion, here’s maybe the biggest thing missed in today’s individual-happiness-seeking, self-love culture: it’s not all about you. And this isn’t just altruism: while focusing solely on self can bring some short-term happies, it’s nearly impossible to create lasting joy and contentment without meaningful roles and impact on others, whether that’s our larger communities or our closest of inner circles.

Consider: How can all that I’ve uncovered be used to impact more than me?